Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Can't We All Just Get Along?


A famous Seinfeld episode once included the line The thing about eating the Black and White cookie, Elaine, is you want to get some black and some white in each bite. Nothing mixes better than vanilla and chocolate And yet somehow racial harmony eludes us. If people would only look to the cookie all our problems would be solved.

Sadly it's 2011 and people obviously have not been looking to the cookie to solve problems. I give you the case of Mark McHenry. Full Article Here

Mark McHenry thought he was a loyal customer to the Landmark Steakhouse in California, the workers at the steakhouse didn't see it the same way. One day McHenry noticed that the restaurant had changed the name on his receipt to McStinkynigger and Mc Nigshit.

What does Mr. McHenry do after seeing this? Well he did was anyone TRUE RED BLOODED AMERICAN WOULD DO.... He filed a fucking lawsuit for monetary compensation.

I want to make it abundantly clear that I am in NO WAY approving what the mental midgets at the steakhouse did. What they did was rude and offensive and fucking idiotic. Anyone responsible for the name change should be severely reprimanded and fired.

>HOWEVER<

Does this shit really need to clog up an already over-worked court system? McHenry is suing for "mental anguish, embarrassment and humiliation" Really? Embarrassment? They changed his name on a receipt, they didn't print a 50 foot poster calling him racist names. You didn't see me suing the chick who told me point blank she'd rather date Chewbacca, I took it like a man and what happened? She had to drop out of college because she was pregnant and didn't know who the father was, circle of life baby.

If McHenry wanted to tell everyone he knew what happened and boycott the restaurant and never go back I would be all for it. If he contacted every newspaper and television station in a 50 mile radius of the restaurant I would be completely on his side... but why money? How is a financial gain going to change anything that happened?

Why is the answer ALWAYS MONEY? You wronged me so give me boatloads of money and that will make up for the 5 milliseconds of embarrassment I may have felt?!?!

From McHenry's lawsuit:

During the Corona del Mar Christmas Walk on Dec. 5, the suit says, McHenry and some friends stopped by Landmark, where a manager let them skip the long line and escorted into the bar through the kitchen. He had a few drinks, paid his tab and left, then later returned.

The next day, the suit says, McHenry reviewed his receipts and was "shocked and appalled" to see racial slurs used in the space designated for a customer name.


So special treatment is fine as long as you're the one benefiting from it? Say can everyone who was stuck in line December the 5th SUE McHenry for cutting them? Surely they all suffered mental anguish and embarrassment for having to wait even longer!
It should be noted that The suit also claims that the employee who used the slurs texted and left numerous messages of apology for the incidents, but that the "desperate apologies" were aimed to protect the employee and not out of true remorse, making him "feel worse."

Well of course, why acknowledge an apology when you see big dollar signs in your future! The employee has already apologized numerous times- sincere or not he didn't tell McHenry to go pound sand or defend his ridiculous actions. How can a lawsuit and possible financial gain make this situation better?

Again let me reiterate that I am in no way condoning the behaviour by one or two bad apples at Landmark who changed the name, but this really doesn't need to go this far! Maybe I'm just old school but I still believe in the saying of sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me.

But of course that's not the society we live in, we're now a bunch of wussies and pansies. We have to go walking on egg shells and hope we don't offend anyone, because if we do, instead of an apology and a handshake, it's a lawyer and a lawsuit.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

UP IN SMOKE: The Quest To Legalize Marijuana




There are so many qualifying statements to make I'm not even sure where to begin, so please bare with me.

This blog post is a result of a discussion I had with a friend (we'll call her Lisa S.. no no that's too obvious, L. Simpson) regarding the possibility of legalizing marijuana in the future. The friend is question is a daily marijuana smoker, (he would be offended if I called him addicted as he only does it because he enjoys it.. yes I roll my eyes just like you did) As you know, or you should know by now. I'm as straight edge as they come, no alcohol, cigarettes or illegal drugs for me, personally I think alcohol should be illegal as I think it's much more dangerous than marijuana, but that's a whole other blog post for a different time.

The purpose of this blog post is examining why marijuana is illegal.

My friend and I kicked around many ideas and issues surrounding the whole marijuana debate, it's stigma in society, comparing it to prohibition, the gateway drug theory, but in the end it comes down to one important factor. THE GOVERNMENT CANT MAKE MONEY ON IT.

Yes folks it comes down to what most Governmental decisions come down to- The all mighty dollar. The Government has not come up with a way to guarantee themselves profit with regards to marijuana.

The Comparison To Alcohol:

Some people are quick to make the case between marijuana and alcohol- saying that prohibition failed therefore the same should apply to the "war on marijuana". The key difference is the effort required for home-made alcohol. It's 2011 and yes there are some people who brew their own stuff at home, but how many of those people sell their homemade cocktails? Making alcohol is a complex process especially compared to growing pot where all you need, for the most part, is some plants and lighting.

If you want a beer your first thought isn't to call your local beer-dealer and see if he has any. You goto the store or bar and pay for it, paying tax to the Government while doing so and go on your way- either way the Government gets their piece.

Looking back at history, when the Government abolished Prohibition, the black market alcohol makers went out of business meaning if you wanted alcohol a portion of the price you paid was going to the Government and back in the 1930s that became a huge revenue stream like it still is today. The problem today is, The Government can't guarantee that same profit if they legalize marijuana since the process of growing plants is so simple an idiot can do it (insert stoner joke here).

If the Government were to legalize it, the local dealer down the street does not disappear like the black market alcohol makers did back in the 1930s, if anything the dealer becomes bigger and the Government still does not get their piece. Sure they could set up licensed dealers and have "weed bars" and designated places to buy and sell, but it still won't stop the local dealers from growing and selling it "under the table" and without taxation.

So unless the Government is able to find a way to severely undercut the dealers and sell marijuana dirt cheap forcing the local dealers out of business, it will be a proposition that loses money, and even though most Governments are pros at losing money, it's not something you are going to see legal in this country anytime soon.

It always comes down to money, to further prove this point you just have to look to the Ontario Governments' stance on UFC. For years UFC President Dana White wanted to run events in Toronto and every time he was told no it's a blood sport, it's too dangerous and we have morals that won't allow it..... Then a report was done stating that a UFC event held in Toronto would help bring in multiple millions of dollars for the city, and what do you know, Next Weekend April 30th at the Skydome UFC 129 will be held.

The Government has no problem flip-flopping if the right amount of money is involved

For the right price, anything is achievable.



I know it would have been better if I had released this post on April the 20th, however just to show you pot smokers that us straight edge guys can be cool too, I've released it at 4:20 this afternoon!

**Also please remember to vote on the two polls that I have up on the right side of this page! thanks for your continued support**

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

US Government Has Nothing Better To Do, Shuts down Poker Sites


Full Article Here

Late last week the United States Government decided to launch an all-out attack on The Internet Poker industry.

Eleven people, including the founders of the three largest poker sites open to U.S. players, were charged by a federal grand jury with bank fraud, money laundering and violating gambling laws. The government also is seeking to recover $3 billion from the companies.

The
FBI had shut down two of the sites, Full Tilt Poker and PokerStars, by Friday evening and were working to do the same with the third, Absolute Poker. Online visitors were greeted with a message saying, "This domain name has been seized by the F.B.I. pursuant to an Arrest Warrant," and an enumeration of federal anti-gambling statutes and penalties
Before I continue, let me clarify exactly what this means:

  • If you are an American citizen you are banned from playing poker at any of the sites listed above, you may log into watch or play with "play money" but cannot take part in any real money games.

I don't know about you guys but I, for one, am glad the United States has solved every other problem they had and were able to focus on that god damn terrorist organization known as The Online Poker Industry!

For a country that likes to think they are better than the rest of the world and pride themselves on being the land of the free The Government sure displays a lot of control over their people telling them what they can and can't do.

Now in the interest of full disclosure I think I should admit that I write this blog rant with a certain bias as I've played at all 3 of the places that were affected by the raid, and although I don't currently play online poker (due to reasons that would only trigger another long blog rant) This raid does not effect me as living in Canada, I'm still actually free to do whatever I please in my own home. That's not the case in the US it seems.

The US Government being a bully is nothing new and this war on the online gambling industry has been going on for years, back in 2006 UIGEA, the Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act was shoved through Congress in the early hours of the morning. Bill Frist and John Kyl were the leaders behind the bill, they believe gambling is a sin and could potentially tear families apart. The bill made it difficult for players in the located in US to fund their online account, but due to the poor wording and overall ambiguity of the bill, most of the poker sites were able to maneuver around the law and still allow players from the States. Again, being Canadian this had no direct impact on me, however I find the hypocrisy of the US Government extremely offensive.

"These defendants concocted an elaborate criminal fraud scheme, alternately tricking some U.S. banks and effectively bribing others to assure the continued flow of billions in illegal gambling profits," Preet Bharara, the U.S. attorney in Manhattan, said in a statement.

I'm certainly turned on, nothing arouses me more than when lawyers use big SEXY BUZZWORDS. Say it with me, ELABORATE. CRIMINAL. FRAUD. SCHEME. ILLEGAL. GAMBLING. PROFITS. I can't be the only one who got a laugh out of the "tricking some US banks" Yes the same banks that would have given a monkey a loan using it's own poop as collateral, the same US banks that caused the joke that is known as the US Economy, oh those tricky gambling sites!

Also please don't get ILLEGAL gambling profits confused with the Billions of LEGAL gambling profits that are made by Las Vegas hotels and casinos each year, that gambling is fine, because the Government gets their piece of that. But if your 70 year old grandmother want to play a $5 poker tournament online at 3 in the morning from the comfort of her own (nursing) home, well that's too bad because that's ILLEGAL.

That's what angers me the most about this situation, it sets a terrible precedent of lies and hypocrisy, if gambling is wrong and destroys families then shut down Las Vegas, Atlantic City and all the other land based casinos, but of course that's not the case, is it? In the end it all comes down to the all mighty dollar! 3 billion dollars is a lot of income tax revenue that the IRS and The Government isn't seeing, so in their minds, they had to do something- But lets call a spade a spade, this has nothing to do with protecting families from the horrors of gambling, this isn't a won't somebody think of the children moment, it's a case of greedy, power and control. Nothing more, Nothing less.

Land of the free? I think not.



*It should be noted I plan to have another blog post up on Friday, but if the US Government can shut down Online Poker Sites, I'm certainly no match for them, so if you don't hear from me again know that the pleasure has been all yours, and please pray for me at Guantanamo Bay.


Friday, April 15, 2011

Why I Can't Care About The NBA (Or Other Professional Sports)




Before I dive into today's topic I think it's important to stress the fact that I used to be a huge sports fan. Back in middle school and high school I knew practically anyone and everyone who played in any of the big 4 leagues (NBA, NHL, NFL ,MLB), I knew their stats, jersey numbers and middle names. So I'm not coming at this as a nerd who is just anti-jock, there was a point in time where I really enjoyed Professional Sports... Of course that all changed once I grew up and entered the real world.

The NBA regular season came to an end Wednesday night and it was a night that could not come fast enough for my hometown Toronto (C)Raptors.

The Raptors finished 27th out of 30th in the league with a record of 22 wins and 60 losses. That's a stunning winning percentage of 26.8%. Since I'm in a good mood lets round that up to 27%. Now lets take a look at the (C)raptors payroll.

Predrag Stojakovic $ 14,896,000
Jose Calderon $ 9,000,000
Anrea Bargnani $ 8,000,000
Leandrinho Barbosa $ 7,100,000
Reggie Evans $ 5,080,000
Amir Johnson $ 5,000,000
Linas Leiza $ 4,995,000
Julian Wright $ 2,858,056
DeMar DeRaozan $ 2,453,880
Jerryd Bayless $ 2,292,600
Ed David $ 1,919,160
James Johnson $ 1,713,600
Alexis Ajinca $ 1,467,840
Sonny Weems $ 854,389
Joey Dorsey $ 854,389
Solomon Alabi $ 770,000
Sundiata Gaines $ 101,626
Trey Johnson $ 93,157
Ronald Dupree $ 55,148
TOTALS: $ 69,504,845
*it should be noted that Stojakovic was bought out by the Raptors so they owe him the money even though he did not play for the team

That's not a typo. The CRaptors players combined made almost SEVENTY MILLION DOLLARS.... 27% winning percentage... SEVENTY MILLION DOLLARS. I can't be the only person who sees that as grossly disgusting and offensive.

Imagine if you showed up to work and performed at a 27% efficiency rate, how long would you last? You'd be lucky if you weren't fired by lunch, you certainly would not be signed by the company to a 2-3 year deal where you were getting paid millions of dollars that were guaranteed.

Anytime I tried to watch a basketball game this season all I could focus on was the fact that these jackasses are getting paid millions of dollars and are fucking awful at their job.

Back in the day, hell I'll admit it, I was rocking some sports jerseys, but these days I just can't bring myself to care. I am unable to rally behind a bunch of overpaid brats who are playing for nobody but themselves. I see it for what it is, a business. Professional athletes don't give a fucking fuck about the city they play for, sure some will do some PR maybe goto a school, talk to kids and maybe even start some charities but let's not lose sight of the fact they are paid loads of money for nothing more than playing a game, and if one team doesn't want them they'll go searching and find another team that will take them. There is no such thing as team loyalty, it's all about loyalty to the all mighty dollar.

Perhaps the older I get ( although I'm not even 30) the more cynical I get but I don't understand people being so invested in a professional sports team, you know the people I'm talking about. The ones with the banners and the jerseys and the t-shirts and they can't go somewhere because their team is playing that day. They cheer with their heart and soul for this team of overpaid athletes and for what? They won't give a standing ovation to the cute blonde at Starbucks who makes their coffee but they'll yell and scream for Jose Calderon making a 3 point basket? He's putting a ball through a fucking hoop, big fucking deal. He doesn't come cheer you on while you make the Big Macs so why the fuck are you acting like a buffoon while he does his.

27% winning percentage, fuck me.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Caveat Emptor - Snooki Visits Rutgers


People are Idiots. It's the name of this blog, it's the motto I live my life by, I'm used to stupidity and ignorance, by this stage of my life I'm pretty numb to it, at least I thought I was numb to it- until I came across this gem of a headline.

SNOOKI GETS $32,000 TO SPEAK AT RUTGERS UNIVERSITY, $2,000 more than Nobel Prize and Pulitzer Prize-winning American novelist, Toni Morrison(full article here).

Before I begin my tirade, it's important to note a few key things.

  • Nicole Polizzi was paid $32,000 for two question-and-answer sessions at the Livingston Student Center in Piscataway.
  • Unlike Morrison, who was booked by university officials, a student-run committee invited Snooki. The Rutgers University Programming Association paid the reality star using the mandatory student activity fees undergraduates must pay with their tuition. The group was looking for a speaker who would appeal to Rutgers students.
  • She spent an hour answering questions, teaching students the signature "Jersey Shore" fist pump and styling a student’s hair in her iconic "pouf" hairdo.
  • When asked what her advice was for Rutgers students, she said: "Study hard, but party harder."
There are so many things wrong with this I don't even know where to begin-- but I'm going to try!

It's time like this that I truly weep for humanity. It's not bad enough that the students of Rutgers University chose to have a question session with a woman who is only famous being a drunk whore on a "reality show" They paid $32,000 out of their fees to do so! Think about how much good could have been done with that money, instead of paying some attention whore to show them how to fist bump, how wonderful would it have been if they sent the money to help Japan or gave it to New Orleans who is still struggling to recover after Katrina. What a great message would that send to the rest of the world? Nah instead let's spend it on someone with the words of wisdom of study hard, BUT PARTY HARDER Y'ALL!

Is it any wonder why America is in debt up to their eyeballs when the institutions that are supposed to be preparing the next generation for the real world spend money like this? Higher Education? Are you fucking kidding me? Rutgers CHOSE her, it wasn't some gag gift, it wasn't a punishment for poor academics. I would be all for it if it was like one of those old school DARE commercials, this is your brain and this is your brain on drugs comparison, but no, of all the people on the face of this planet they decided that Nicole Polizzi is the person they wanted to come and talk to them? really? REALLY? Only in today's society would a drunk whore who isn't qualified to work at McDonalds and probably couldn't spell 'degree' get over $30k to "pouf" someones hair. What an absolute embarrassment and anyone connected to Rutgers in anyway should be ashamed.

Study hard but PARTY HARDER, what a wonderful message for the next generation, if this is the future of society, it might be a good idea to wipe us out and start all over again. Pretty sure we couldn't do any worse than we are right now.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Caveat Emptor - The Charlie Sheen Saga




This past weekend, ego-maniac and attention whore galore Charlie Sheen's one man show entitled Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat is not an Option opened, to say the show bombed would be a giant understatement. Sheen opened the tour in Detroit of all places, a place he later called "The most honest city in the world".

Of course if this had occurred 20 years ago, the general public would not have known for days possibly weeks, however in today's media centric, instant feedback environment people were tweeting before they left the show. Some media critics were burying the show as it was going on,
"A cynical attempt to cash in on his craziness," said the Hollywood Reporter, calling it a "poorly planned show filled with faux-Biblical preaching and extended video clips."

"Charlie Sheen live: what WAS that?" asked the Entertainment Weekly, after a blow-by-blow blog of the show, which lasted barely an hour, while the Los Angeles Times said Sheen had "no ability as a live performer."

The regular people who attended weren't much kinder to Sheen

"It was the worst thing I've ever seen in my entire life," said Jennifer Pyryt, 26, after fans streamed out of the Motor City's Fox Theater, many of them booing and doing thumbs-down signs. "The show was horrible."

"Charlie's a big fraud. It was unbelievable, it was the worst show I've seen in my life," said another man, declining to give his name, as he and other headed off into the night.


My only question to the people who actually parted with their money to see Sheen is, What The Fuck Did You Expect?

I don't understand society's need of grabbing on to some whack job "celebrity" and treating them as if they can walk on water. People shelled out upwards of $180 to see Charlie Sheen make an ass out of himself on the big stage -- and they got exactly what they paid for.

Charlie Sheen used words like WINNING and TIGERBLOOD and all of a sudden the media was begging to hug his nuts and make him out to be this edgy super cool new rockstar that people just had to flock to.

Far too often people lose sight of the fact that everything in today's marketplace is a business, and that's exactly how Charlie Sheen saw it and he cashed in while big he could. So if you were one of the giant knuckleheads who wet themselves at the thought of going to see Charlie Sheen on stage thinking that somehow of all the people on this planet CHARLIE FUCKING SHEEN was going to re-invent the wheel and you parted with almost $200 of your hard earned money you have nobody but your idiotself to blame. Take a good long look in the mirror and realize you bought into the media bullshit, hook, line and sinker.

WINNING!

Friday, April 1, 2011

Cry Babies On And Off The Court - The Sad State Of Today's Parenting


Earlier this week David Ferrer made headlines in a match he was getting crushed in, and eventually lost, after lobbing a tennis ball into the stands "in the direction" of a crying baby. I have included the video at the end of this blog so you can scroll down or if you're lazy click HERE.

Ferrer, who happened to be the #6 ranked player in the world, took a bashing in all the media outlets taking about how a professional athlete should have more control and just because there was crying baby in the stands doesn't mean there should be one on the court.

The question no one seems to be asking is what the fuck is a baby doing at a tennis match? How stupid/ignorant/selfish do the parents have to be to bring a young baby to a tennis match?

It doesn't take a genius to know that during the point the audience is supposed to be as quiet as possible so the players can concentrate, it's been that way since before the beginning of time, hell when the dinosaurs were on the earth they knew to keep quiet during a fucking tennis match, but not these selfish pricks.

It's bad enough that these knuckleheads bring a baby to a tennis match but why on earth when the little brat started crying do you just sit there and let the little bugger annoy not only the players but everybody sitting within earshot? I can't imagine how annoying it would be to have paid for tickets and hear nothing but a snot nosed baby crying a fucking river while the parents tap it on the head and go "sssssh!"

Here's an idea, get up off your fat lazy stupid asses and remove the baby from the situation, newsflash you assholes just because you have a child doesn't GIVE YOU ANY RIGHT to inconvenience other people AT ANY TIME. Just a little respect for others people is all that was needed here.

As for Ferrer, I certainly don't condone launching tennis balls into the stands but in this case, I see nothing wrong with what he did, he didn't cause injury to anyone and the ball wasn't even close to the baby- which may speak more for his aim and why he lost in straight sets, 7-5 6-2.






Video below........