Monday, March 21, 2011

32 Year Old Criminal Out Smarts Entire Police Force

So there I was, eating my delicious mixed berry muffin watching the news trying to figure out what my next blog post was going to be about, and then on the television screen I see this fine gentleman's picture:




Then I heard the story revolving this fine young man, and nearly choked to death on my muffin due to uncontrollable laughter.

Now you can read the full story HERE but I think this paragraph will tell you everything you need to know............
Police are continuing their search for the man shot by officers earlier this month in a high speed chase, after the man simply walked away from Enloe Medical Center in Chico.
Back on the 4th of March Mr. Crone was leading the police on high speed pursuit and eventually, after driving over 3 miles on flat tires, crashed into a parked car. Upon making contact with the parked car he did what anyone would do in that situation, he panicked and ended up putting the car in reverse colliding with a police patrol car. It is at this time that Butte County District Attorney Mike Ramsey (I'm not making that up by the way, the county is actually called Butte County) stated that "he is reaching wildly inside the car, causing concern with the officers that he had a gun, and he was shot".

Jeffrey Crone was shot, 3 times in total by the fine officers of Butte County resulting in almost a 2 week hospital stay. A hospital stay that ended simply when Mr. Crone got up and WALKED OUT THE FUCKING DOOR.

You might be wondering how the hell does something like this happen? Well the police force has a very simple answer for you,
The Chico Police Department said it couldn't pay for an officer to watch Crone and a hospital spokeswoman said Enloe followed "all hospital procedures and policies." So the man just walked out. As of this very moment, the police still haven't found him.

That's right, Jeffrey Crone was dangerous enough to shoot but not dangerous enough to watch! Did they not have a pair of extra handcuffs that they could have used to... I don't know say HANDCUFF HIM TO HIS FUCKING HOSPITAL BED? The fuck is wrong with you people? to make matters worse (or in the case of this blog, hilariously better) It is presumed that Crone left DURING THE DISTRICT ATTORNEY'S PRESS CONFERENCE.

It also has to make one wonder about the intelligence of the hospital staff, "oh hey look that guy who the police shot multiple times is leaving the hospital, have a nice day Mr. Crone!" I wonder if they gave him a special fucking sponge bath before he left.

What a giant embarrassing clusterfuck for all of those involved, well except for the criminal mastermind Jeffrey Crone

The only thing missing from this story is the fucking benny hill theme music.

23 comments:

  1. Hahaha, man I'm not even sure what to say.... Just wow. Fucking muppets.

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  2. I love how in America the police shoot first and think later. And possibly if they have the time and energy, they ask some questions.,

    After they shoot people they say he was a dangerous criminal and put him on death row.

    The fuck america?

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  3. guess he didnt like the food? haha

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  4. Pretty smart guy if you ask me. I don't think the medical staff could be allowed to do much more than well, call the police, but he had every right to just up and leave while no one was paying attention. Silly cops, smart criminal. Had to laugh at this.

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  5. This deserves a facepalm of epic proportions. This is also a good reason that defunding the police department is a really shitty idea.

    Gotta give it to the guy though. Ballsy move.

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  6. Sad reality...all about $ folks.

    Following,
    U Laugh U Lose - For your daily laughs!

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  7. your a fucking moron.
    butte   /byut/ [byoot]
    –noun isolated hill or mountain rising abruptly above the surrounding land.
    still trying to find why your dumb ass thinks thats funny. Bares repeating.
    Fuckin Moron.

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  8. I think it's fantastic that someone from the BUTTE County Police Department bothered to read and reply to my blog post, hello Harold!

    First if you're going to call someone a moron it's probably best not to make any typos to make yourself look like a fucking mental midget.

    "your a fucking moron" is incorrect, you needed to use "you're" meaning YOU ARE. Perhaps if you had completed 5th grade instead of going straight into the police force you would understand such things.

    As for what I find funny, I find COMPLETE AND TOTAL INCOMPETENCE HILARIOUS. Just like if I were to job shadow your family working at McDonalds, I would LAUGH MY ASS OFF at how many orders they got wrong.

    Harold, the money is on the dresser bitch, I'm done with you.

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  9. sounds about right for the yanks, and these snotgobblers have nuclear weapons, god help us.

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  10. ...and to think those people guard you while you sleep.

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  11. I feel your pain, I just choked on my steak laughing at how you wrote this!

    Its that bad it almost seems fake, but its not!

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  12. Oh my... those stupid policemen what were they thinking?

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  13. Oh wow, that guy is one luck SOB. I wonder how long it will take these idiots to find him, if they even do.

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  14. lucky.. agree to gavin.

    i love saturday :D

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  15. And just to think, it will only get worse!

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  16. faith in humanity.....must keep....

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  17. That's just unfortunate. This could have been prevented easily!

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  18. *Most people are idiots.

    Really funny stuff, man!
    Reminds me off fluffytalks from youtube. Followed ;)

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  19. yeah shoot first think later (maybe...or not) this shows how the us police are just underqualified and this is just hilarious thanks for the lol !!

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  20. Haha, he's a a criminal mastermind!

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